A Mother’s Heart in the Waiting Room

 

        Great Day! I know I haven't made a post in a while, but life has been a little hectic. I'm going to start from the beginning. When I was pregnant with Bryson, I found out that he had a Congenital Heart Defect called Tetralogy of Fallot. I was getting my 20-week anatomy scan and was sent to one of the best Children's Hospital in Philadelphia. I was scared as hell because I was not sure why I was being transferred so once I got there, they broke the news to me. When they told me, an option of an abortion was also brought up. I understand they have to ask because there's women out there that would do something like that, but not me!! Especially after Lianna's death, I was against that and we Bryson was planned so I didn't want to let my Babyboy go. I simply told them no with tears in my eyes. Trust me I was scared when they told me he would need open heart surgery within the few months of him being born. My pregnancy was already high risk so just imagine how I felt after finding out my baby would need surgery so soon. Fast forward, Bryson was born and he surprised everyone when he was able to breathe on his own. I was told to prepare for every outcome including not being able to breathe on his own. I even had to get to shots in my leg to open up his lungs during labor. I was willing to do any and everything that was needed to make sure Bryson was good. He was discharged a few days after and that's when I took a huge sigh of relief. The surgery was planned for once he turned 4 months. Again, scary as hell!! My heart felt heavy as time went on, just anticipating for a great outcome. Don't get me wrong, I was very optimistic and I knew he would make it through; I just couldn't help but to worry. By the end of March, Bryson and I both came down with a cold. So, I scheduled a sick visit, and we went to see his pediatrician. Once we got there, it seemed like a normal day. I was looking forward to getting back home after the doctor examined him. But once they took his vitals, his oxygen saturations were low. And that's when it all began, the scariest week of my life! Everyone rushed in, from doctors to nurses. The room was filled which made me even more nervous while Bryson just looked normal. He was still smiling and looking at everyone, again like normal. We were rushed to the Emergency Room after that. Because of his cold, he was very congested, so they used an aspirator and did a deep suction. He had his first "Ted Spell" after that. A Ted Spell is when a baby turns "blue" (in other words, grayish and pale) and starts to lose more oxygen. At that time, more doctors and nurses rushed in. And at this point, I'm already in tears!! Just watching them give him oxygen and tend to him in every way possible. They then moved him to a bigger room with more space and more supplies. There, they finally got him stable, however, the idea of doing the surgery sooner was the topic of conversation. Even though he was sick, the benefit of the surgery outweighed the risks. He really needed it at this point, and the Ted Spell simply told us that surgery was coming soon. Bryson had two more Ted Spells so the doctors decided that his surgery will be on April 1st, 2026. The day before surgery, Bryson was just his normal self. Smiling and laughing at me while I talk and sing to him. My heart was CRUSHED but again I knew he needed this surgery. On the day of surgery, I was able to hold him before they took him to the OR. I cannot tell you how many times I cried but it was a lot. That walk to the OR was the longest walk I have ever taken. His father and I, kissed him and said, "see you later". Of course we didn't say "goodbye". Yes, there is a difference! The rest of the day, while waiting for updates from Bryson's nurse, was horrible! I'm glad his nurse called us every hour, on the hour. Once she called and told us that he was out of surgery, it was like a weight lifted off of my shoulders. We went to see him after they told us it was okay to. I was not prepared for what I saw, I was expecting it though. There were so many IV's, so many tubes, so many lines. It was so hard to see my baby like that, but I had to see him, so I didn't care what it looked like. Bryson looked a little different, but the nurse reassured us, he will look more like himself soon. And he did. They also gave us a crash course of how to handle him and take care of him after. Since he had open heart surgery, we have to pick him up differently, give him a bed bath and change him differently. He was supposed to get discharged one day but he has a collapsed lung, so they postponed it. But once Bryson was discharged, I knew he was doing great and progressing. Now he is back home with me and doing great! We have been having so much fun together like before. He loves playing with all of his toys and watching his tablet (not all the time). We still go on walks when it's nice out, of course we need some air and sunshine from time to time. This entire experience helped me continue to realize how strong my Babyboy is, just like his parents! He will need to see a cardiologist for the rest of his life, but mama will be by his side every step of the way. 

    Point is, for any parent who has a child that needs surgery or has any medical problems, always remember to stay optimistic and love your baby regardless!