A Mama's Joy

           I thought breastfeeding wasn't as bad as I thought! Boyyyyy was I wrong. Now I know it's not easy, but I was sure I could pull it off. I went through my whole pregnancy with the idea that I would breastfeed. I got everything that I needed, like the breast pump, storage bags, etc. And as soon as I gave birth, I pumped for the first time. It was a weird feeling. The tugging and the tender feeling. At that moment, I questioned everything. But I tried to stay optimistic, so I kept pushing. Once my son got discharged, I was pumping and feeding him by bottle (formula) every 2 hours. I also tried to get him to latch often. Plus, I had to clean the parts that I used for pumping too. The plan was to keep this up until my supply came in and I would breastfeed for months; the amount of time was undecided. Doing this every few hours throughout the day and night, was a lot on me!! I barely got sleep and barely had time to do anything else. After doing all of...

          As much as I try to remember to take care of myself, I still forget or don't really have the time. When I think about it, self-care doesn't always have to take hours. It can simply take 5 minutes or even 30 minutes. I have a long list of things that I do to take care of myself or just to make myself feel good. For self-care, my favorite thing to do is take a HOT bath. And when I say hot, I mean hot enough that you can see the steam. From bubbles to bath bombs to music and soak for a long time. Then after, I apply lotion and perfume just to smell good. Feeling and smelling clean always makes me feel great. I also like to put on lashes to enhance my beauty. They are never needed but I really enjoy wearing them. Makeup as well, sometimes a little... Sometimes a full face; depends on how I'm feeling. Of course, I would need to take a billion pictures just to find the best one. Looking in the mirror is cool but to capture the moment and be able to look...

        I did not realize how busy I would be as a "new" mama. I emphasize new because before Bryson, I was already a mama, just didn't feel like one. Now I was given the opportunity and the blessing to actually do everything that I have been dreaming of. It seems like time just goes way too fast now. I swear there's not too many hours in a day. This is really a 24/7 commitment and responsibility. I start my day with coffee and think about everything that needs to get done. Bryson wakes up not too long after so of course I change his diaper and feed him. Sometimes he stays up for a while then goes back to sleep. While he's awake, we have some fun by either watching an old school cartoon, playing with his teething toys, listening to music or just simply talking to him while he sits up on my lap. I love that I am able to let him watch all the shows I watched as a kid, they are way better than these new shows, I'll tell you that. Since its getting warm outside, w...

          Before having kids, the thought of going through labor and delivery scared the hell out of me! I've heard so many different stories and really didn't know what to believe or expect. I just knew that everyone's experience is different. When I was pregnant with Lianna, the months were so long, and the symptoms were kicking my ass. Little did I know, my blood pressure was high for most of my pregnancy. I felt like the doctor's ignored it and wasn't doing their job. I also felt like everything could have been avoided. The correct term for high blood pressure during pregnancy is "Pre-Eclampsia". It can be very dangerous and life threatening. Ask me how do I know? From experience, a heartbreaking one at that. Once January 2024 came, which was the month of my due date, I was getting more and more excited. I was planning to get Lianna's bassinet together, wash her clothes; I was starting to "nest". Unfortunately, on January 9th, 2024, I had...

Great Day!  Welcome to my blog! My name is Angel and I am from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I will talk about and explore my journey through motherhood. In my eyes, it feels like I was always meant to be a mama but I never came across the right situation or opportunity to become one. Meaning, I didn't meet the right man to give me what I've always dreamed of having. A family. I didn't want the typical baby mama/baby daddy drama that's so common now. I just wanted to have kids with one man and actually have the family that I have never had. Currently, I was blessed to have two beautiful kids. My daughter, Lianna, is Resting in Paradise. She passed away on January 9th, 2024 when I was 37 weeks pregnant. I was induced and had a vaginal birth on January 11th, 2024. It was the WORST few days of my entire life! Life after that became so dark for me. During that first year after Lianna's death, I sunk into a DEEP depression. I could not stand the sight of anothe...